atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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