with your own penis?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
