I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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