1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
