He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
