So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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