im about as happy as oj after his trial
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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