i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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