he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
