I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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