i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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