Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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