don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
