She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
