So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it's like heaven, but drunker
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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