well you can't waste a boner
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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