i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I touched a dick in church today
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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