Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
