i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
