I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
