i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
