They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
