I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I pour the whiskey from now on
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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