lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
