I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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