Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
