I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we should paint friendship bongs
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
