5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
