we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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