So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
