My Higher Power is John Stamos
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
