the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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