The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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