Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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