i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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