you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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