Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
