I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
