just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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