Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
