Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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