As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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