how do flat chested girls get laid?
either way he was missing a nipple.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
