Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
