i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Green mimosas i think yes
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
