Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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