apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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