is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
from now on my penis is your penis
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
