doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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