Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
