SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
