Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
