I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
